Friday, May 18, 2012

A Bad Day

For my second post I had planned on talking about some of the other conditions which seem to accompany my depression, such as anxiety, irritability, anger and even nervous ticks. But instead I got side tracked. Today I feel terrible. I feel blue, low, down-in-the-dumps, and even a little bit peed off.
Oh I’ve taken my medication, and I’ve tried positive thought, even beginning this post isn’t as cathartic as I hoped it might be. To make matters work, I’m at work, and really I’d rather sit alone than “network” with colleagues. And so I have been for the last three hours.
This isn’t good, and it certainly is not healthy; I’ve learned over the years to recognize these emotional trends, but like a plane hurtling towards the ground, pulling out of it is the hard part.
Of course it doesn’t help that I got very little sleep, and it doesn’t help that there are bills to be paid and paid pronto. These are problems that we all have to deal with. These are things that help to make up the fabric of what we call life, and me spiraling into the darkness is not the solution. But as I already pointed out, I can’t shake it off. So what then? What do I do now?
Well I’ve got a few ideas, so allow me to be a guinea pig for the afternoon:
The first thing I discovered, as a means of breaking out of a funk is what I call active reinforcement. Rather than sit and sulk about whatever it might be that's upsetting you, try tackling it head on. For instance, as I alluded to earlier, I'm not enjoying work right now. Unfortunately, I can't. Very well leave right now and cry over a beer. So what can I do? Well, I can go talk to my colleagues. I can discuss with them the positives of some of the project we are working on right now. I can tell them what a great job their doing. That alone should make me feel more empowered, more confident. But added to that is the likelihood that they might reciprocate. That they might tell me the great and the good I'm bringing to the table. What better wayto kickstart my mood then that?
Another option, is passive reinforcement. This is a standard CBT trick and what it essentially means is simply sitting down and going through everything that you have to feel good about. Things like family, friends, your health maybe a good job, some money in the bank, etc. Some of these might seem superficial at first sight; what's money in the bank compared to family, you might ask, but when you drill down, you can realise that it all comes from a positive force in your life, and that usually stems from yourself. What you will also find is there are lots of them.
Writing this blog has actually cheered me up quite a bit. but you know, I'm still going to try these exercises. After all, what is there to lose?

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